He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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