You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
