i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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