making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dicks are not precious.
I love you. Go after that dick
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
