I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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