We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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