Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
tell me about the fingering
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