Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You are a genius and a whore.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
