tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
