can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
