You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
