You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
