: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the condom got lost in my hair
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
