Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I am available for nakedness
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
