I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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