"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
