I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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