Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
