the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
