Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
