Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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