Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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