He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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