I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
