A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
