am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
