Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
