You can't special order awesome
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
