why didn't you poke me back
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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