Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
