Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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