I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
