I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
