Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
