I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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