I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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