are you so shy because you have an std?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
