This girl is more easily done than said...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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