I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
did i just pee glitter
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
