69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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