is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
