If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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