Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
