Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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