i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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