Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
