I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
