All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
