If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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