Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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