in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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