I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
