You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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