You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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