did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
