i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She even gives head with a lisp.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
